Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
