shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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