Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize