I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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