Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
