apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
