I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You may now shotgun with the bride
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
