shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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