Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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