what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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