she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
