Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
