She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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