sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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