brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
