I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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