You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
