We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
