I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize