I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
