I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
