The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
