I have demons in me.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
