would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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