This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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