while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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