sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
