Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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