You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
