Define "chronic" masturbator.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
