Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
