I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
