ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
