I feel great
I just peed on a car
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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