We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
