This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
