Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
