i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
