Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
