His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
