she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize