I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
