bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
