I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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