I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize