He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
God I need to hump something, right now.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
