well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
