He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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