I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
