i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
