wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
