I think I won the penis lottery.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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