i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
