I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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