just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
