The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
