She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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