i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
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