I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
