i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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