i was born a porn star she said
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
